Love 2.0 by Barbara L. Fredrickson

Author:Barbara L. Fredrickson [Fredrickson, Barbara L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781101609842
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2013-01-24T05:00:00+00:00

See yourself as being a dear friend to yourself. It may help to first conjure up the feelings of warmth and tenderness you might feel toward a small child, or a kitten, as innocent as these small creatures can be. Experience how your face softens or your heart expands in their presence. Now imagine directing these same feelings of warmth and tenderness toward yourself.

May I feel safe.

May I feel happy.

May I feel healthy.

May I live with ease.

Between each phrase, pause for just a moment and drop your awareness down to your body, to your heart in particular. Note and accept whatever sensations arise there. Know that this practice session is more than the mere repetition of phrases. The phrases simply open the door to a chance for you to condition your heart to be more open, more accepting, and kinder. Staying aware of your heart region allows you to witness this conditioning as it unfolds.

At one moment or another, you’ll discover that your attention has strayed from the phrases. This may happen quite a lot. Don’t worry. It’s normal. Simply begin again by gently bringing your awareness back to the phrases. There’s no need to berate yourself for losing your focus. Indeed, each new moment of beginning again presents another opportunity for experimenting with the spirit of loving-kindness. Can you acknowledge your departure from your intended path while at the same time gently returning to it? What would it take to do so with a kind and loving sentiment toward yourself? Can you set aside all harshness?

As you come to the end of this practice session, know that it’s completely natural for you to treat yourself kindly and wish yourself well, even though you may forget to do so quite often. Know that you can generate this tender and loving attitude toward yourself anytime you wish, just by reminding yourself that this stance exists, and how at ease it makes you feel. Sure enough, difficulties and obstacles to your happiness will still arise. Suffering happens. But now you know that you need not add to that suffering by treating yourself harshly. Indeed, you can reduce your suffering considerably at any time by reminding yourself of the ancient and ageless wishes of LKM.

As your practice of LKM turns inward, toward yourself, be aware that this may also be a good time to begin (or resume) writing in a journal. Whenever possible, just after your meditation practice session, allow yourself an additional five to ten minutes to journal the stream of your consciousness. Doing so creates the time and space for you to reflect on any associations or insights that arise for you as you begin to give yourself this new kindhearted attention. What does it feel like to create these warmer, more open sentiments toward yourself? How do these sentiments make your body feel? What markers of resistance become apparent for you? What happens when you experiment with bringing your awareness—even your breath—to those areas of resistance? How do they respond?

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